Determination is Her Middle Name

Being that Annabell has a mom and a dad who happen to be just a little determined, its no wonder she followed suit. Ever since Annabell was born, Bryan and I could identify in her a spirit of determination. Quiet? Lazy/Low Key? Quitter? Nope, not our Annabell. Even when she was battling some painful stomach issues, through ER visits, Dr. visits galore, Annabell fought through it with a scream and a smile.  It is amazing to me how apparent this quality is in an 11 month old. Knowing this about our curious little peanut, Bryan and I knew child proofing was necessary, perhaps earlier than most parents have to childproof their house. And what do you know, Annabell can even out-smart childproofing measures (and with a proud smile of course!)

Annabell also recently discovered how fun it is to play with the straps on her high chair seat. The horrible mom that I am, I pushed all the chairs in to the table but it didn't matter. Annabell found a way.

I just know, we have a strong willed child on our hands. And I feel like in this culture, that is viewed as a bad thing, I mean honestly...there are books on how to deal with the strong willed child. Now granted, I can see how parenting a strong-willed child can be difficult at times and probably frustrating as well, I'm starting to find the great joy in this character trait developing and blossoming.  

I've been reading a book that was given to me at my baby shower, "Praying the Scriptures for your Children" by Jodie Berndt and in this book the author talks about praying for your children in specific ways (even when they are just babies) that God would use those "not so fabulous" and possibly frustrating character traits to bring Glory to His kingdom. So I have been praying this very thing, that God would use Annabell's intense determination to share the good news of the gospel with others. May she never quit, never be afraid of failing and even when she runs into obstacles may she persevere to accomplish the task Jesus has set before her, to bring the Gospel to the ends of the earth. Thank you, Lord, for my sweet and fiery determined little girl! She is perfect because God made her just the way she is...and I adore EVERY piece of her!DR

Family Work Day

Amidst the many things I have to be thankful, yesterday I was reminded how blessed I am to have a hardworking husband. He works long hours and comes home only to work around the house until the sun goes down. When we bought our home we knew that there were a few repairs that needed to be made, things that were a major safety hazard for our growing daughter. The most important project happened to be repairing our stair railing because the gap between each post was 2x the CA code not to mention I could fit between the posts, so we knew we HAD to replace these before Annabell started walking. Replacing a stair railing seems simple, but we have discovered its is a MAJOR pain in the butt. We had no idea how complicated this would be but my husband nevertheless, spends each day off working to get this massive project completed before starting medic school in a few weeks. This among many other reasons is an example of how I scored BIG time in the husband department.

Thank you Lord, for my husband!

A New Leg of My Journey

It has been quite a long time since I have been on my blog. Since my last post I have become a professional stay at home mom and homemaker. I look back at some of my posts from a few years ago, and although my life looks so different now than it did 2 years ago, I am reminded of one constant in my life...God's goodness to me along the way. Blogging has always been a great outlet for me to track God's provision in my life and I'm bummed that the last few years haven't been logged because God has been so good and provided for my family in ways I could have never imagined. If I were asked a few years ago to describe what my life would look like in 2 years, I can promise you my plan looked different than God's...and that is the best part of my whole journey. God's plan supersedes what I think I need or the direction I see my life going.

As Bryan and I are going through this life as new parents (well our sweet Annabell is approaching a year old...not really sure how that happened), I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. I am blessed beyond measure to be able to stay home with our precious daughter, but with this desire came great sacrifice and a major shift in my identity. As Bryan and I have had many heart-to-hearts along the journey, I have expressed my inadequacies as I navigate my way through motherhood, budgeting, grocery shopping, cooking and all the things my life entails. I'm sure I'm not the only mom who happens upon the feelings of inadequacies from time to time. In the midst of these feelings, I have a craving to be the best mother to Annabell and the most wonderful wife to my dear husband, this is what God has called me to do. Focusing on my inadequacies and ways I wish my life looked different is simply a distraction to allowing God to completely use me to serve my family. God calls me to serve my family joyfully, sacrificially and with a grateful heart...after all, God has been incredibly good to me and my family. I'm not talking about the goodness that shows up in material possessions, although I am grateful to the good Lord for providing my family with a roof over our heads. God's goodness is apparent to me in the deep love my husband has for me, God's goodness shows up in the smile of my sweet daughter, God's goodness is there in the depth of my inadequacies because God finds me worthy to take on the task of caring for a family and a home. God's goodness is in the middle of struggle...because His word says that His grace is sufficient and I am reminded that my struggle is just a part of God's refining process in my life. 

It is my prayer that my reflection of God's goodness in the joy and in the pain will be a reminder to me and to anyone who reads my blog that His sovereign plan for my life and yours is what we ought to desire. Not the things of this world, but to please Him in all that we do.  We serve a good and holy God my friends. 

Lord, may my humble life as a wife and a mom bring you Glory and honor.  

"May the words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Making Up For Lost Time...

So, it has been quite some time since I have written on this wonderful blog/journal of mine. I think about this blog often, and so much has happened in my life since my last post. Each event that passes, I say to myself "this would be a good time to start up again with my blog writing" and here we are...still no post since last February. So in attempts to bring this blog up to speed, I will be re-capping 2011 and the first few months of 2012. God has been so good and blessed me with so much and all along I have told myself the purpose of this blog will be to to record God's goodness in my life, that it may be a reminder to me of God's faithfulness to me through this journey of life.

Solvang

So this year for Christmas, Bryan and I decided to go on a trip rather than exchange gifts (that we don't need). We have experienced the problems of having too much stuff in a small space and have done the hard work to purge a lot of unnecessary clutter...we don't want to get back into that rut again. He and I researched and researched and finally landed on Solvang. So a few weeks ago, Bryan and I ventured to the beautiful wine counry of Solvang, we stayed in a fabulous hotel right in the town so we were able to walk to the shops and restaurants.


The first day Bryan and I enjoyed lunch at Paula's Pancake House (no we didn't eat pancakes for lunch) and we soaked up the beautiful sunshine while enjoying each other's company...we had no time limit. We had nothing to do and no where to go...that was such a treat! The weather was just beautiful while we were there, couldn't have been more perfect.
Day 2 we woke up early and enjoyed a hot breakfast at our hotel then we ventured off into the country for a hike that we heard was just breathtaking. It was a hike up to a waterfall, that not many people even knew existed in Solvang (if you are ever in the area, this is a must do hike). The chill of the morning along with the sound of rushing water through the creeks and the birds chirping made for an exuisite morning in God's blessed creation. This hike made the entire weekend worth it...I would have driven to Solvang just for this hike...it was so serene and gorgeous! It shouldn't be surprising to me that God's "untouched" creation is so incredible...that's how He designed it. It just reminded me of what an awesome God I serve...he was so creative to create so many types of birds, all with different songs for us to enjoy!



Nothing tops off a little exercise quite like an ice cream cone and some famous Aeblskivers from the Solvang Restaurant and some wine tasting in Los Olivos. It was a tremendous day in Solvang!
Friday morning we enjoyed some incredible Danish Pancakes and paid one last visit to Paula's Pancake House. I had no idea what I was getting myself into with Danish Pancakes. Bryan went with the Belgian Waffles (thinking it was going to be a lot of food since pancakes usually aren't)...boy was he wrong. A couple sitting nearby us just laughed when our food was delivered...my plate wasn't big enough for my pancakes, yet to their surprise, I nearly finished the entire plate! (It's not hard to scarf down thing, sugar like pancakes that dissolve in your mouth...yummay). We headed home after breakfast, taking the 101 most of the way and it was just stunning following the coast, watching the dolphins from the road...God's creation is just amazing! It was a restful trip for both of us and way better than anything we could have purchased at the mall for each other! You can't buy memories or God's creation or a beautiful hike...we are so glad we did this instead of gifts, perhaps we will repeat this every year and make it a Frey tradition!

Part 2 of My wedding Day

It is hard to believe I have been married for almost 2 months...it feels like it was just yesterday that I wrote my last blog post on my wedding day. What a great day that was!!! I set out the morning of my wedding to be in a great mood, to enjoy every moment and to cherish the people there to share in Bryan's and my special day. I wasn't going to stress about the little things, but I was really going to to focus on the reason behind the big wedding...I get to marry my best friend and the love of my life...Bryan!

So shortly after I wrote my previous blog post, I went into the kitchen and enjoyed a cup of coffee and some breakfast on the porch with my mom. From there I went into the bathroom to work on my makeup. I played some music and enjoyed a leisurely morning. Catherine arrived and brought a special surprise from my "husband to be". He wrote me the most beautiful love note (well it was really a novel) and some treats to sustain my blood sugar during the day. He had my all time favorite snacks and treats wrapped in a fabulous bow! I cried...because this to me was just a small gesture that expressed his desire to take care of me and love me for the rest of our lives. I broke into the special K bars immediately and then it was time to get back to the grind of getting ready. Then Melissa arrived a bit later and the three of us went on a trip to Jamba Juice for our morning boost, then back to the house to get ready. (notice, I was eating all morning, without a thought of my dress fitting me...oh well) Catherine worked on my hair and it turned out PERFECT! It was exactly what I wanted...my wedding day look was coming together, it was a bit surreal but the most fabulous day of my life...from morning til night.

The whole gang started to flood in...my bridesmaids started to show up, one by one...it was really happening! I couldn't believe it! Gathering my bags and wedding day items was interrupted by shouts of joy, utterances of excitement and maybe a little bit of tears. It was finally time to leave and head to our wedding site...ahhhh! I can almost feel my excitement now as I re-live the moment. We had a great drive to Hidden Oaks, we hit no traffic and made record timing. We arrived about 15 minutes early (the way I like things). On our way to Hidden Oaks, Melissa (who was in charge of tracking Bryan) called to make sure they were running on time, which they were. Just knowing that Bryan was on the phone with Melissa who was sitting right behind me drove me nuts. I wanted to talk to him soooo bad! I couldn't wait to see him, talk to him, kiss him and hug him...the suspense was killing me.

At last, we arrived to the wedding site and unloaded all my stuff. We were still waiting for some people, so in usual Emily-can't-relax fashion, I went outside and started putting linens on the tables! It was great to be involved in the set up and the decoration of my special day, but when we heard that Bryan was almost there, I had to report to my corner of hiding in the bride's room. I soaked in every moment. The moment the photographers arrived, the moment my florist arrived with our incredible flowers...everything was so fabulous and emotional and suspenseful! It was killing me knowing Bryan was just a few hundred feet away in another room probably just as anxious as I was. I kept asking my bridesmaids if they saw him and how he was doing, how he looked, etc....I wanted to get as much information as I possibly could. The time came for photos with my girls, so Bryan was put into a corner of the kitchen - facing the wall so he couldn't possibly see me. I could see his groomsmen looking through the windows of the house just smiling and waving at me....the excitement was killing me.

Finally I was told it was time...IT WAS TIME!!! I had no idea the feelings that would rush through me when I heard those three words...it was insane! My heart is racing just thinking about it! My dad came in to sit with me in the Brides room until it was time for me to walk down the aisle. And finally...I was lining up with my bridesmaids fighting back tears the entire time. As I held on to my dad's arm, a whirlwind of emotions flooded my heart. This was my special day and my husband to be was waiting for me at the end of the aisle. The double doors opened and I heard the music begin to play as I walked down the aisle. I began weeping...I simply was overwhelmed with feelings of joy, deep love, encouragement, support, care and completion. Finally, everything we have been waiting for and planning for was happening...it was really happening! As soon as I began down the aisle, I locked eyes with Bryan tear filled eyes...this moment was PERFECT!
The ceremony flew by and it was time to PARTY! I could hardly wait to eat my In N' Out...I had been saving up for my cheeseburger all day...I was salivating during our photos just thinking about it! So we finally made it to our reception and enjoyed our fabulous dinner and enjoyed mingling with family and friends...it was a great evening. The reception flew by, and not everything went perfect. I continued to keep in perspective, its not about the wedding, its about the marriage and nothing that would happen during our reception was going to take my husband away! We had a great time, and approached our grand exit with much excitement!!! The day was perfect and our life together was just beginning. Naturally, I would be thirsty as soon as we left our wedding...so we stopped at the Carl's' Jr. right down the street...and wouldn't you know that as Bryan asked for a cup for water, they didn't even look twice. Sure a man in a tuxedo and a woman in a white flowing dress must walk into this Carl's' Jr. often...right?
We ventured on the road again for a while...it was only a matter of time before I had to use the restroom...haha, this was killing Bryan. So Melissa and I hopped out at a Starbucks to use the restroom...once again...no one even noticed. We got a great laugh out of this! I then found out that close family friends of ours had upgraded our hotel to the Westin...it was FABULOUS!

Since our honeymoon, married life has been crazy busy but has been so fabulous! Our love for each other has grown immensely. I love doing life with him...everything I used to do as normal routine is just so much more fun with a partner. I just know life is going to fly by and before I know it, we will have been married for years and a kid or two later...so my goal in writing in my blog is to remind me of the fabulous moments through our journey! We are loving married life...I would highly recommend it! Marriage is the BEST!

ITS FINALLY HERE, MY WEDDING DAY IS FINALLY HERE!!!

Being a bride, I have been planning this wedding like crazy. Its been a blast but organization has been imperative to a stress free planning journey. Theknot.com has been a tremendous help to me in that it provided me with lists of to-do's every day...my kind of website! Theknot.com also has a wedding countdown and I have been following it religiously. I couldn't help myself but to take a look at it today.

So I figured since I couldn't sleep in my longer, now would be a good time to get my thoughts down since the craziness is about to begin in a few short hours. Today is my wedding day...being as I am only having 1 of these, I thought it would be an opportune time to jot down my feelings and thoughts. It is 6:08 and well I have been up since about 5:45am. (shhh don't tell Bryan, he would have wanted me to sleep in longer...but what's a girl to do, I'm getting married today. If that doesn't give me excitement that makes me wake me up then I don't know what will.) I was quite exhausted last night so once it was time to go to sleep, my body didn't resist a whole lot, which was fabulous!

Last night was great, Bryan and I had a few errands to run after our rehearsal, so he and I went to get my ring cleaned. To our great advantage, our jeweler needed an hour do Bryan and I were able to get a cup of coffee and just talk at the Bella Terra... I realize most brides aren't pleased about "losing" an hour of prep time, but since Bry and I done with everything else wedding, it was a great time for us to re-ground ourselves, talk about our anxieties, excitements, things we are most looking forward to and just be calm. It was such a special time. I really didn't want him to drop me off at home...I wanted to hang out with him clear through today, but knew that wasn't going to happen so I prolonged everything we did last night to make our time together last just a bit longer.

It finally came time for him to drop me off so I could finish up my packing and he could hang out with his best man and chill for the evening. I didn't anticipate being so emotional, but I think my emotions were a great reminder of the incredible man I get to marry today. As Bryan held me tight and we said our goodbyes, tears streamed down my face. Good tears, missing Bryan tears, excited tears, closure tears. I realized last night was the last night he was going to drop me off at home. Last night was the last night I had to say goodbye to him. Last night was the end of my stay at home. I love being at home, missing it for a few years while at college...home has been a great solid ground for me growing up. I have a ton of me memories here. My parents are wonderful and loving and have provided so much for me over the years. I love the home I grew up in! I love my parents, my sisters and my brothers. I am so grateful that I have such an incredible place to visit and such amazing parents whom I am excited to miss so I can love them and appreciate them in a whole new way.

Thanks Mom and Dad for everything you have taught me and provided for me...I hope to create a home like what you gave to me and my sisters, with as much love and devotion and trust that I was able to grow up with! Thanks!!!

Last night was also the end of me and Bryan's "dating relationship" (which don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to graduate to marriage) but I had a blast dating Bryan. He was an incredible boyfriend and fiance to me. Our journey has been filled with love, family, friends, memories, laughter, tears of joy, bonding, comfort, safety, honesty, friendship, flirting (my personal favorite) and so many other wonderful things. Bryan and I never once considered "taking a break". Early on in our relationship, we both new (independently of each other) that we would be together forever. Taking a break was never an option. Not having an escape route as an option taught us to grow through disagreements and love each other through rocky times in our relationship. But here we are, more in love than I ever thought I could be with a man. Bryan taught me so much about myself during our dating relationship and I'm so grateful for the man he's been in my life thus far. Last night, my heart needed closure on our journey for the past 4 1/2 years, but only to be swept away by my husband today. Today, sure I am having a wedding, but I gain a husband! I get to be married FOREVER to the man of my dreams, my very best friend, to the love of my life...TODAY!

So today I am not filled with butterflies (just yet, although I anticipate them creeping into my system very soon), I'm not nervous, and well stress, stressed is the last thing on my plate...there are too many other great feelings that go along with this special day, sorry stress, there is no room in here for you! I am thrilled, I am emotional, I can't wait to see Bryan, I can't wait to show him the dress I picked out, I can't wait to have this great party with our closest friends and family...most of all, I can't wait to be married! In just 9 hours from now, I will be walking down the aisle to make a lifelong commitment, a covenant to Bryan Joseph Frey, to love him, cherish him and serve him all the days of my life and I never anticipated being this ready and eager to serve someone FOREVER!

Bryan, I will be seeing you in just less than 9 hours from now and I can hardly wait to lock eyes with you, my husband! I love you!

Emily "Barr"