ITS FINALLY HERE, MY WEDDING DAY IS FINALLY HERE!!!

Being a bride, I have been planning this wedding like crazy. Its been a blast but organization has been imperative to a stress free planning journey. Theknot.com has been a tremendous help to me in that it provided me with lists of to-do's every day...my kind of website! Theknot.com also has a wedding countdown and I have been following it religiously. I couldn't help myself but to take a look at it today.

So I figured since I couldn't sleep in my longer, now would be a good time to get my thoughts down since the craziness is about to begin in a few short hours. Today is my wedding day...being as I am only having 1 of these, I thought it would be an opportune time to jot down my feelings and thoughts. It is 6:08 and well I have been up since about 5:45am. (shhh don't tell Bryan, he would have wanted me to sleep in longer...but what's a girl to do, I'm getting married today. If that doesn't give me excitement that makes me wake me up then I don't know what will.) I was quite exhausted last night so once it was time to go to sleep, my body didn't resist a whole lot, which was fabulous!

Last night was great, Bryan and I had a few errands to run after our rehearsal, so he and I went to get my ring cleaned. To our great advantage, our jeweler needed an hour do Bryan and I were able to get a cup of coffee and just talk at the Bella Terra... I realize most brides aren't pleased about "losing" an hour of prep time, but since Bry and I done with everything else wedding, it was a great time for us to re-ground ourselves, talk about our anxieties, excitements, things we are most looking forward to and just be calm. It was such a special time. I really didn't want him to drop me off at home...I wanted to hang out with him clear through today, but knew that wasn't going to happen so I prolonged everything we did last night to make our time together last just a bit longer.

It finally came time for him to drop me off so I could finish up my packing and he could hang out with his best man and chill for the evening. I didn't anticipate being so emotional, but I think my emotions were a great reminder of the incredible man I get to marry today. As Bryan held me tight and we said our goodbyes, tears streamed down my face. Good tears, missing Bryan tears, excited tears, closure tears. I realized last night was the last night he was going to drop me off at home. Last night was the last night I had to say goodbye to him. Last night was the end of my stay at home. I love being at home, missing it for a few years while at college...home has been a great solid ground for me growing up. I have a ton of me memories here. My parents are wonderful and loving and have provided so much for me over the years. I love the home I grew up in! I love my parents, my sisters and my brothers. I am so grateful that I have such an incredible place to visit and such amazing parents whom I am excited to miss so I can love them and appreciate them in a whole new way.

Thanks Mom and Dad for everything you have taught me and provided for me...I hope to create a home like what you gave to me and my sisters, with as much love and devotion and trust that I was able to grow up with! Thanks!!!

Last night was also the end of me and Bryan's "dating relationship" (which don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to graduate to marriage) but I had a blast dating Bryan. He was an incredible boyfriend and fiance to me. Our journey has been filled with love, family, friends, memories, laughter, tears of joy, bonding, comfort, safety, honesty, friendship, flirting (my personal favorite) and so many other wonderful things. Bryan and I never once considered "taking a break". Early on in our relationship, we both new (independently of each other) that we would be together forever. Taking a break was never an option. Not having an escape route as an option taught us to grow through disagreements and love each other through rocky times in our relationship. But here we are, more in love than I ever thought I could be with a man. Bryan taught me so much about myself during our dating relationship and I'm so grateful for the man he's been in my life thus far. Last night, my heart needed closure on our journey for the past 4 1/2 years, but only to be swept away by my husband today. Today, sure I am having a wedding, but I gain a husband! I get to be married FOREVER to the man of my dreams, my very best friend, to the love of my life...TODAY!

So today I am not filled with butterflies (just yet, although I anticipate them creeping into my system very soon), I'm not nervous, and well stress, stressed is the last thing on my plate...there are too many other great feelings that go along with this special day, sorry stress, there is no room in here for you! I am thrilled, I am emotional, I can't wait to see Bryan, I can't wait to show him the dress I picked out, I can't wait to have this great party with our closest friends and family...most of all, I can't wait to be married! In just 9 hours from now, I will be walking down the aisle to make a lifelong commitment, a covenant to Bryan Joseph Frey, to love him, cherish him and serve him all the days of my life and I never anticipated being this ready and eager to serve someone FOREVER!

Bryan, I will be seeing you in just less than 9 hours from now and I can hardly wait to lock eyes with you, my husband! I love you!

Emily "Barr"